17 Jun Fridays Are For Family – Honoring Your Dad
This past week I had the rare opportunity to spend several days with my dad at the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention in Phoenix, AZ. Since we’re both in full-time ministry (Is there any other kind?), it can be difficult to see each other. We do talk to each other by phone or by text at least once a day, sometimes several times a day, but that really isn’t the same. That’s why I really enjoyed getting to share a room and spend some time together this past week.
I love and respect my dad greatly. To have come from the terrible home life that he did – his father was an alcoholic who left him, his mom and sister when my dad was very young – and have accomplished all he has as a father and a pastor makes him my hero. In fact, the week before the convention my dad spent 18 days in Ethiopia preaching and leading hundreds of people to Jesus in the prisons and refugee camps.
I remember several times when I was a boy him coming into my room very early in the morning and asking if I wanted to go to school or would I rather go fishing or hunting with him. That was a question that really didn’t need to be asked. He spent a lot of time with us boys as we were growing up. Most of the time it was outdoors with guns or bird dogs, but we didn’t mind. We just liked being with him. I remember going visiting with him as a little boy and getting to stop and get a milkshake on the way home. He was tough too. One day I had to wash the old family station wagon four times before it passed inspection. Every six or so weeks he’d show up with a truck load of wood shavings and the next day I would have to spend it cleaning out chicken coops. I was responsible for feeding and watering and cleaning the dog kennels from the time I could handle a shovel. When he thought I needed to toughen up and learn how to work hard he sent me to work on an uncle’s farm in east Tennessee one summer. From that point forward my summers weren’t spent by a pool or on a ball field, they were spent sweating and working on construction sites or chopping cotton or hauling hay. I learned to appreciate those who work hard with their hands and determined to go to college and get an education. Maybe that was part of his plan all along.
My dad taught me to love God and His word. He taught me to have a heart for the lost. He taught me to care for my people. He taught me to stand for my convictions and never give in. He taught me to honor those who serve Jesus. He taught me the inestimable value of loyalty. He taught me to help those who need to grow in Christ. He taught me to love those that are difficult to love. He taught me that its alright for Christians to have fun. He taught me so many things that I never learned in seminary, but use every day as a local church pastor.
That’s why my dad is my hero both as a father and a pastor.
I may not always agree with my dad – both of us are very strong willed – but I love him and always seek to honor him because – well, he’s my dad.
Exodus 20:12 says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.”
With that in mind, let me share with you some very practical suggestions on how to honor your dad – not just on Father’s Day, but everyday.
* Seek his wisdom. He’s been places, seen things, learned lessons, paid prices that you never have. Take advantage of that great resource.
* Honor his legacy. We live in a culture that values the new and novel, not the tried and lasting. Honor who your father is and what he has accomplished. If you do so, God will honor you.
* Explore his family history. I learned to do this early on in my life. I love to hear the stories about his grandparents – Ma and Pa Beckham and what life was life in Beckham’s Hollow in rural east Tennessee.
* Show him respect. We play and “cut up” a lot as a family, but at the end of the day, he’s my dad and he deserves respect.
* Express love. We may not say it as often as we ought to, but we do show it – you should do the same.
* Celebrate Father’s Day. If you haven’t planned to do so yet, and are able, make plans to take your father out for dinner. Send a card or cake, but do something to celebrate your father this weekend.
* Remember his birthday. A card or a call means a lot. He may act like its not a big deal, but it is and he’ll never forget that you remember.
* Honor his wife. There was a spoken rule in our home, “You will respect your mother or you will deal with me.” I might get a spanking for disobeying him, but I would get a “whuppin'” for disobeying or disrespecting my mom.
* Pray for him daily. Remember to lift him up to Jesus every day.
* Build a memory book. If you don’t intentionally plan to remember you will most certainly forget. Take pictures. Write remembrances. Collect mementos. Put them in one place to be looked at and read again and again. It will become a priceless possession.
* Respect his preferences. My dad and I are definitely different. We have different tastes and preferences, but I do not make an issue out of something that he prefers over my own preference. If I disagree, I honor him and remain silent.
* Surprise him with a gift. Growing up, and even when he returned from Ethiopia last week, my dad always made it a habit to come home with a gift. I try to do the same when I see him.
* Take him hunting or fishing. Whatever he likes to do, spend time doing that together. There will come a day when you won’t have that opportunity and if you make time to spend together today you will never regret it tomorrow.
Maybe you didn’t have the kind of relationship with your father that I have and still do. Maybe it is difficult even to celebrate Father’s Day because of past hurts. If that is the case, you can still honor them. In fact, you’re commanded to do so. You honor them and the Bible says that God will bless you.
Maybe your father has already passed away. Take some time this weekend to remember, honor and thank God for the influence and impact that he had in your life.
And one more thing – always remember to honor, praise, love and spend time with your Heavenly Father.
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