I believe the primary responsibility that we have as parents is that of passing on our faith, values and positive character qualities to our children. We are responsible to make sure they not only know about Jesus, but know Him personally as Savior and Lord. We are responsible for teaching them what is right, what is wrong and why. We are responsible for teaching them traits and qualities that will equip them be a help, not a hindrance to society.
One of my earliest memories is that of hearing my mom, early in the morning, praying for me and my two brothers. I remember waking up and hearing someone talking in the house, but I knew that by that time my dad had already left for the day. So I knew it was my mom who was doing the talking, but who was she talking to? As I lay there in my little twin bed I tried to listen to the conversation, and as I did my young mind finally realized who it was that she was talking to - it was God. She was talking to God about me and my brothers. I'll never forget that day. It has made a deep, meaningful and eternal impact in my life.
Can I share a secret with you? Maintaining a healthy marriage is one of the hardest things I do. It's much easier for me to preach multiple times each week, lead a large staff, and pastor a church with a couple of thousand members than it is to take care of my most important area of ministry. I'm not proud of my shortcomings. I am, however, constantly - and consciously - working to improve in this important area of my life. I want to do what the Lord tells me, and what my wife needs from me, so that we can have a healthy and happy marriage.
There are few things that are more powerful in relationships than words of affirmation and affection. This is especially true in our relationship with our family. I can remember as I was growing up looking and listening for those types of expressions from my parents. While my parents weren't perfect (what parents are?) they still made sure to let me know that they loved me and were proud of me.
One of the disciplines that has been a personal priority of mine since I was a college student is the memorization of, and the meditation on, scripture. This is also a discipline that I want to instill into my young children. I want my family to be one that has a firm foundation that is built on God's Word so that we will know how to act, what to think and respond to the various situations and circumstances of life in a way that honors our God and encourages others. My friend and mentor Steve Gaines refers to this as "thinking Bible." I think that is a great way of describing what I want to be true in my life and the life of my family.
As a pastor one of the things that comes with the ministry is seeing families at the best times of their lives - weddings, births, graduations, great accomplishments - as well as the worst times of their lives. I've stood with a family at four o'clock in the morning as a nurse pulled the body of their college-aged daughter out of the wall - killed in a single car accident. I've sat on the floor of a hospital waiting room with the adult, grieving daughter of a man who took his own life. I watched as she in essence reverted to a little child, holding herself, rocking and shouting, "NO! MY DADDY WOULDN'T DO THIS! MY DADDY LOVES ME TOO MUCH TO LEAVE ME THIS WAY! NO!" I met with a family in a hospital room as they received word that their fourteen year old daughter had contracted meningitis. I stood with them a few days later as they put her body in the ground. I've stood with families over a little casket as they said goodbye to a baby they never had the opportunity to know - stillborn. I could go on with example after example of couples I know and love when they faced the fiercest storms that ever raged against their marriage.